The changes I am experiencing now are so different. I don't fear these changes as I have others in the past. But I must admit, the newness of everything is overwhelming...even though they are all good things! It's been difficult adjusting to days with only the twins at home. It sounds strange, I'm sure. Having 2 children at home is a lot easier than 5, right? Here's the thing...turns out I'm crazy in love with my kiddos. While I am thoroughly enjoying my 'little girl' time, I miss having my big kids around. Plus, now that all my children are back in school, they are spread out around town. Yep, they are all three in three different schools and now that Victoria is in middle school there are many more things to keep up with. Three afternoons a week we are rushing to hug, do homework and get out-the-door to be on time for football practices. Every evening, I am checking and double checking to make sure all lunches are packed and that I've signed all agendas and papers...knowing if I forget, my child may be penalized. It has been nuts. I have found myself spending the majority of my time trying to stay one step ahead of the school.
All that being said, I have been so happy to have made it a habit to get up before the children and have my daily time with God. That always sets me up for a good day. However, I have realized that although I'm having my quiet time, I'm not really devoting myself to God. I read my passages and I pray...but I can't honestly say that I don't have other things going through my mind. I have lost my focus. I have been so busy thinking about the daily "to-do's" that I haven't been fully committing myself to the One who made all things possible...to the One who blessed me with these children to look after...to the One who has allowed me to stay at home and take care of my family. Starting today my mind, body and soul will act as one when I am spending time with my Creator. Perhaps, having put things in perspective, my life will not seem as chaotic.
Thank you Lord for helping me find my focus.