Had I been asked this time last year about my future I would have sluggishly shrugged my shoulders in uncertainty. I was so sick last October. I had no idea about my future...or if I even had one. It pains me to even think back to those days. There are so many times I was so ill that I can't even remember family moments we spent together; even though I was there.
Since the start of the school year, I've had three mornings a week all to myself. In the beginning I used that time to run around; do my errands, some shopping, grab some coffee and visit friends! Then the realization crept in; there's only so many places to go...so much money to spend...and so much coffee to drink. I decided it was time to start using my time more wisely; to get on a better schedule. Don't get me wrong, I was still getting our needs met; the house was still getting cleaned, bills paid, dinner made, etc. There were just some days I was not doing it joyfully, you know, the whole "I'd rather be shopping" thing. I finally realized it was because my attitude and perspective needed some adjustments. So, I have spent the last several weeks fine-tuning things around here.
I wake up early and enjoy some hot coffee and quiet time. It's so nice to sit and enjoy the simplicity of nothingness. I've been diligently working on this "new schedule" for the past two weeks and let me tell you, my life has been so much more delightful! I've had time to clean, cook fancy meals, bake, play with my kids and even work on a personal hobby or two! My latest adventure was on Thursday. I had a few cooking obligations to do, so I decided to take that opportunity to cook/bake for EVERYONE! In the end I had 70 cupcakes, 2 plates of brownies, 1 plate of cookies, 1 lasagna and one clean kitchen.
Let me tell you, I enjoyed every minute of it! I was ecstatic that I had the time to dedicate to my family and that I could actually do something I enjoyed doing. I felt so incredibly blessed to be in my kitchen at that very moment. Every time I think God could not possibly wow me anymore, He does.
These are only part of the goodies I made.
Wanna take a trip to the pumpkin patch with me?
These are known as the "Monster Cookies". They have a little of everything in them!
This was all that was left of my homemade brownies.
When all is said and done, I have had a great deal of time to reflect on my life...then and now; a great deal of time to count my blessings. I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for the months I allowed things with my health to get so bad before I asked for help. However, at this point all I can do is choose to be thankful.
I am thankful. Thankful to be right here...right now.
"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God,
I will give you thanks forever."