Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Never Thought I'd See The Day

It's something I never thought I could do.  I wasn't even sure I wanted to do it.  In fact, I am positive I can think of 101 reasons not to run. 
I'm busy.
I'm exhausted.
I really don't like sweat dripping down into my eyes.
It hurts my knees.
 Just to name a few.

It wasn't until Mike returned home from a deployment and had decided he was going to run a marathon that I actually started toying with the idea of lacing up and hitting the pavement myself.  I must admit I played with the idea for several weeks.  In fact, I waited until Mike gently began encouraging me before I actually took my first step.  The first time was slow and dare I say grueling.  In fact, I almost instantly decided running wasn't for me.  After my breathing slowed to normal, I got a nice shower and I saw how proud Mike was of me I started to rethink my decision.  Maybe I could stick with it for a while and just see.  After all, it would be nice for Mike and me to do something together that we can encourage each other through.  Weeks went by and I stuck with it.  My runs weren't very consistent, but my distances were increasing.  The initial aches and pains were going away and I wasn't dreading the afternoon sweat sessions nearly as much.  One afternoon Mike made the announcement that we were going to run a family 5K.  Well, the big kids and I were running a 5K and he was running a half marathon.  Holy crow.  Pressure, pressure, pressure.  It wasn't long and race day was upon us.  Everyone made it and did really well.  Me?  Let's just say I made some rookie mistakes and didn't do as well as I should have.  
After grieving my perceived failure I made a decision.  Running is something I want to do.  I actually think I like it.  I like the way it makes me feel (when I'm done).  I like how tired I feel, knowing that I gave it my all.  I like having a hobby that my husband and me can share.  I like showing my children how important it is to take care of the temple God gave us. 

But became so much more than that.

One morning I was surfing facebook and a status read:  "Why do you run?"


 I thought about all the reasons I listed above and well, yeah, they're all valid.  But, why do I run?  I run because I can.  I run for my Mom, who can't right now.  I run because today is all I have.  The truth is, no one knows what tomorrow promises to bring...what challenges they may face.  I never thought my Mother would be battling ovarian cancer.  One day everything was fine and then the wasn't.  Every time I run, whether it's a long one or short I hold my "fight it & cure it" teal bracelet and think of my Momma.  I'm not saying the decision to run has to necessarily be a deep one, I'm simply stating my truth.
"Sometimes, and for all of us this is true, we are running away...sometimes we are running to search...but if we realize deep down that the truth of our running is that in our running, in our moving, we 'find' ourselves...Then for us running is the gift that lets us know ourselves deeper."
-Lizzy Hawker

1 comment:

  1. This is so beautiful Ashley. I am so glad you found something that you love. Running is a good stress reliever too! :)



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