Thursday, May 28, 2015

Let's Talk About Sex...

Yes, let's talk about the beautiful union between a man and woman who have joined their lives and committed to one another to love, cherish, and always cling to one another until death do they part. Yes, let's talk about sex.  We have had this discussion with our two oldest children already and have continued to keep the conversations going adapting with age and maturity.  Our second son is 10 and  in theory we should be getting ready for "introductory talk, even though said child still giggles at the word penis.  It is because of that that we have taken a much slower approach to sex.  So you can imagine our surprise when he comes home from school to tell me that a fellow student was talking about raping another.  The exact words...
"it's raping time!"

I had to have a moment of silence after my boy gave me the rundown and then asked what in the world that was.  My child who still giggles at the reference to any male part...who still gets grossed out when he sees Mom and Dad kissing asked me about this.  The children at school tried to figure it out saying things like:
"it's sexual assault", "no, it's just beating a girl up", "no, it's beating a girl up and then, you know."

To say his mind was on overload is an understatement.  I did the best I could at explaining without entirely disgusting him.  I explained that rape was indeed a physical assault, but that it's also when someone touches another inappropriately...after the they have said no or stop it.  We went back to the good touch - bad touch.  My poor little and trusting guy could simply not wrap his mind around this.  He kept asking me "why would anyone do that a person?"

The child who forced me to have this discussion with my son had been a thorn in my side all year.  The way the school has handled him has been unacceptable.  But THIS!?  Surely this wouldn't go overlooked...There was no disciplinary action; the little girls parents were not notified immediately, and a school counselor was never brought in to talk to these students about the seriousness of his words.  Honestly, it's been disgusting.

With that incident out in the open, it is fair for me to say that my younger three children have been surrounded with kiddos who want nothing more than to...bully.  Yes, I said it.  I typically shy away from that word as our school system has become so enamored with throwing it around, that I try to only use it when the situation calls for it.  I digress...we've had bus bullies, a girly "finger-snap" situation, and some brand new choice words that have been introduced.

There was one time a particular boy, we'll call him Dennis, thought it would be a good idea to pick on OUR little girls.  There were a few days they had to ride the bus and  Dennis the Mennace thought it to be a good idea to call them some choice words.  I suppose it slipped his mind that their big brother, although annoyed with them at times himself, would absolutely not stand for it.  The problem came to a head when the boy said, "f*** you and your sisters."  Thankfully Christian is a thoughtful child and decided to take the afternoon to send his Daddy a message...

"should I beat him up at his house, at school, or on the bus?  I'm thinking his house."
I love that he was ready to throw down in his sister's honor, but as a responsible adult, I had to discourage it.

On another occasion "Dennis" got upset with a fellow student...a girl, and he threatened to bring his gun to school and "shoot you in the head."

Another incident involved his bringing his shot gun pellets to school.  He wanted everyone to see what they looked like and that yes, indeed, he had his own gun.

By now there was an entire group of parents waiting for something to be done.  Nothing...Nada...Zip.
I just kept asking myself, "what is wroooong with these people!?  The boy obviously needs some help...he is all but screaming for it."  He has truly become a menace to society and has deeply hurt my son.  Not only because the kid is a turd, but because Christian simply not wrap his mind around the "why's" of it all.

"Why would someone say that?  Why would they laugh about hurting someone else?  Why does he want to pick on little kids?  Why isn't anything being done?"

Those are just some of the questions I have searched my heart for a good answer to.  My heart is breaking for my son and the other children that have been affected.  For now, he's getting some extra love from Momma and we're counting down the days until Daddy gets home!

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