"How long have you guys been married?" That's a question I get asked often; when I respond with "19 years" I often get a wide-eyed reaction filled with disbelief. My parents have been married for 45 years and I know that every time I hear that number, I react with the same look. It has nothing to do with the couple, rather, the idea of how long that actually is!
We have had 19 years of deployments, TDY's, children, moves, military demands, loss, lessons, and did I mention, children! There have been many ups and downs. Thankfully, the good times have outweighed the bad times; however, by no means has it been easy. In fact, there have been times we have both asked the question, "is this worth it?" My belief is that every couple has, at times, asked themselves that same question. If they say they haven't, either they haven't been married that long or they're not necessarily being honest with themselves. I don't say that to be contentious, but rather to draw attention to the fact while marriage begins with two people deeply in love, it eventually becomes a choice...will you choose to stay in love?
The first time I saw Mike, he was on the basketball court at McAlister Field House at the Citadel; he was all alone in the gym working on his game. I was immediately hooked on that handsome guy! I loved his work ethic, determination, and dedication to the things he found most important. I loved the way he looked at me, the way he built me up, and constantly encouraged me. In the words of of Ren'ee Zellwegar, in Jerry McGuire, he had me at hello. That was the honeymoon phase of our marriage. Although it was beyond wonder, that phase never lasts.
Eventually, the struggles of life with a job, a family, and being away from the place you call home take root. Marriage tests our patience, our capability of understanding, our empathy, and our determination. Will you run every time the thought crosses your mind? Will you bolt every time your feelings get hurt or there's a disagreement? Those become questions you will be forced to consider throughout your marriage. It's hard, because we're human and self preservation is a very real thing.
Marriage stretches every human boundary we thought we had. It forces us to face the ugliness inside ourselves and embrace the joy we never thought was possible. It is also true that marriage, as with any true commitment, takes work....but is it worth it? Yes, it absolutely is.
We have had 19 years of deployments, TDY's, children, moves, military demands, loss, lessons, and did I mention, children! There have been many ups and downs. Thankfully, the good times have outweighed the bad times; however, by no means has it been easy. In fact, there have been times we have both asked the question, "is this worth it?" My belief is that every couple has, at times, asked themselves that same question. If they say they haven't, either they haven't been married that long or they're not necessarily being honest with themselves. I don't say that to be contentious, but rather to draw attention to the fact while marriage begins with two people deeply in love, it eventually becomes a choice...will you choose to stay in love?
The first time I saw Mike, he was on the basketball court at McAlister Field House at the Citadel; he was all alone in the gym working on his game. I was immediately hooked on that handsome guy! I loved his work ethic, determination, and dedication to the things he found most important. I loved the way he looked at me, the way he built me up, and constantly encouraged me. In the words of of Ren'ee Zellwegar, in Jerry McGuire, he had me at hello. That was the honeymoon phase of our marriage. Although it was beyond wonder, that phase never lasts.
Eventually, the struggles of life with a job, a family, and being away from the place you call home take root. Marriage tests our patience, our capability of understanding, our empathy, and our determination. Will you run every time the thought crosses your mind? Will you bolt every time your feelings get hurt or there's a disagreement? Those become questions you will be forced to consider throughout your marriage. It's hard, because we're human and self preservation is a very real thing.
Marriage stretches every human boundary we thought we had. It forces us to face the ugliness inside ourselves and embrace the joy we never thought was possible. It is also true that marriage, as with any true commitment, takes work....but is it worth it? Yes, it absolutely is.
Here's to 19 years and counting...
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