Callings Beyond Me

I have had a lot on my mind lately. My son, Ethan, has been having some issues in school with some very harsh teachers. These particular teachers are not cruel to him, but he is an extremely tenderhearted little boy. He does not live in a "yelling" home so when he goes to school and hears nothing but loud voices and angry words, he doesn't know what to think. Ethan is a very sensitive child. Some of that is just who he is, but some of that comes from his young age. Mike and I have thought from the beginning that since Ethan has a late birthday that we would hold him back a year in school (in one of the early grades). We thought that our precious son basically needed the gift of time. Time to mature at his own pace...not at the pace the public school system sets. Looking back we should have started him later, but being young parents and unable to see the entire picture, we didn't. Now, after many lost battles with the school system we are seeing first hand our worst fears come to life. Our son is struggling. It has yet to affect him academically, but emotionally it is tearing him down more and more each day. I have spent many hours in prayer asking for guidance. One day, in the very pit of my stomach the thought of homeschooling just popped up. I quickly pushed that aside as being crazy...I have so much on my plate already. My prayers for wisdom continued and so did the thoughts of homeschooling. Then one day it hit me like a ton of bricks...God was calling me to home school Ethan. Oh Lord, the fear started to take over. I couldn't possibly do what he was asking of me. I have 2 little ones at home, a husband that works all kinds of crazy hours and 2 other children that would no doubt be all types of jealous. Plus...I have no earthly idea what to do! Some of the things he brings home from school now, we're learning together! What if I mess him up!!! Besides...I wouldn't even know when to do it or where to begin. It is now when I must confess to you, dear reader, that these were all my prayers to God. I basically gave Him a list of all the reasons this was a crazy idea. His response came like a bucket of hot water being poured over my head as He gently remind me to just "Be still and know that I am God."

I still have moments where I doubt myself and my ability to do what seems like an impossible feat. But if Noah can build an ark because he had faith and Moses can part the Red Sea because he had faith then I can home school my 8 year old...because I too have faith.