Assertive - Being confident and direct in claiming one's rights or putting forward one's views.
Aggressive - Quarrelsome or belligerent.
So...you can decide which one is better for you, but as for me I prefer to be assertive. Am I right now? Absolutely not, but I will be. I'm working on it as I sit here and type this blog. Here are 10 things to help you understand what it means to be assertive. So ladies and gentleman, prepare to be empowered.
- I have the right to judge my own behavior, thoughts and emotions and to take the responsibility for the initiation and consequence. Others may influence my decision but the finial choice is mine.
- I have the right to offer neither reason nor excuse to justify my behavior. Others may disapprove, but I have the right to disregard their preferences or to work out a compromise. What is important is that it's my choice.
- I am ultimately responsible for my own psychological well-being and happiness. I may feel concern and compassion and good will for others, but I am neither responsible nor do I have the ability to create mental stability nor happiness for others.
- I have the right to change my mind. As a human being, nothing in my mind is necessarily constant or rigid...except my God.
- I have the right to say "I don't know."
- I have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them. Others may try and manipulate me, having me believe that my errors are unforgivable, that I must make amends for my wrongdoings by engaging in the "proper" behavior. If I allow this, my decisions will be controlled by others.
- I have the right to be independent of the good will of others before coping with them. It's unrealistic to expect others to approve of all my actions, regardless of their merit. I am responsible only to myself and my God. I can deal with the period disapproval from others - it's inevitable that others will be hurt or offended by my behavior at times.
- I have the right to be illogical in making decisions.
- I have the right to say "I don't understand."
- I have the right to say "I don't care."