Thursday, August 8, 2013

Ripping the band aid off

It's been a day that I've been preparing myself for months for.  So many things to be thankful for and so many blessings to be praising God for.  Yet still, I found myself mourning the changes that were about to take place.  The imminent changes that were just around the corner.  As August 1st drew near I found myself teetering from one end of the vast spectrum to the next.  On one hand I was so excited for my children, all of them, to be turning this page of their lives and getting to experience the thrill of life...of growing up.  Yet on the other hand, I found myself mourning over time gone by...especially my time with the little girls.  Did I play "pet shop" with them enough?  Did we do enough art projects?  Bake enough cookies?  Paint toe nails often enough?  And my big kids...Have I played enough board games?  Listened well enough to what goes on in their days?  Been as excited about a Minecraft masterpiece as they have?  All these thoughts and worries became daunting.  They would haunt my dreams.  The fact of the matter is, I allowed Satan to be the ruler of my thoughts.

No Mother is perfect.  But I can say with utter confidence, there is no mother out there that could love my children with the depth, determination and utter devotion that I have for them.  Do not get me wrong, my children are not perfect, but I see them through God's eyes and they are perfect in his sight. 

So as I prepared 5 little, and some not-so-little, lunches Thursday night and ironed clothes, I prayed.  I prayed that God would bring Godly friends into their lives and that they would be good influences on one another.  I prayed for guidance and wisdom as the teachers had each been selected for my precious ones.  I wanted teachers that would enrich their lives as well as guide them into making good choices and helping them to become rich in character, knowing there would be so many changes and new responsibilities ahead.  I prayed that all the educators and staff would nurture, encourage, AND challenge them.  I prayed for Mike and many challenges AND opportunities lie ahead of us.  I pray(ed) for guidance that God will give us the words to lead our children toward Him and help us to live a lifestyle that is glorifying. At the end of that lengthy prayer, I was now feeling more confident that I could face tomorrow.

When Thursday morning arrived, the ache was still there as I took our first day of school pictures and set off to drop off my kiddos.  First my middle schoolers...them my big 3rd grader (who is still thrilled to have me walk him to class) and finally my little girls.  The good bye was not as difficult as I had expected it to be as they were so very excited to be there and see one of their most favorite people in the whole world, Mrs. vonOven! 

As the girls skipped inside their classroom I realized, the band aid had been ripped off.

It was done.  The hardest part was over...but I most certainly was not going to hang around to feel any of the lingering sting that was inevitable to follow.  So I blew two last kisses to two unknowing little girls, as they were already immersed in activity, and I left.

There were no tears, but many praises to God for all of his answered prayers. 


  1. Great post! So encouraged by you and Mike and I want us to be parents like y'all one day.



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