A Year To Remember

It probably comes as no surprise to anyone, but 2020 will undoubtedly go down in history as the strangest year of our lives.  Everything from the toilet paper shortage to the 24-hour quarantine, things have just been different.  I must confess though; it has been a blessing.  From the insane scheduling of gymnastics, karate, football, mine and Mike’s work schedule, and school in general, things had steadily become out of control.  However, after everything shut down, we were forced to slow down and take a breath.  Before this, I could not tell you the last time we put a puzzle together, had a 3-hour Monopoly battle or had a Bob Ross painting night.  Workouts became more creative.  Walking the dogs became a daily thing.  We colored with chalk, dyed our hair, played dozens of board games, and had outdoor movie nights.  I was gifted with more lengthy conversations with my big kids than I can count.  For that, I am thankful.

Victoria is flying through her junior year at William and Mary.  She is currently virtual learning from the comforts of home.  Although that was a difficult decision for her, saving money on dorm costs was a no-brainer.  Victoria has chosen not to work while she’s in school as she is fully dedicated to her academics and us!  Our girl is one of the most thoughtful and determined young women that I know.  When she puts her mind to something, she is sure to achieve it!   

Ethan is currently in his freshman year at the Naval Academy in Maryland; he has become quite the expert in push-ups, late night study sessions, and grinding through the sometimes-never-ending days of plebe life.  Just like the rest of the world, things are looking different for him.  All academics are taken online which makes things more challenging as these classes were never intended to be taken virtually.  However, even with the all the demands, he still manages to check in often.  We’re so thankful to have him home for the holidays!

Christian is in his sophomore year in high school and has become quite the beast in the gym, at school, and on the football field.  He was the starting defensive tackle on the JV team, which came with a lot of grind on and off the field.  One of the most exciting parts of his year happened when the DMV opened back up and he was able to get his permit.  Watch out everyone!!!  This guy’s managed to keep an A average all while balancing his many roles within the family.  He is one of the funniest, most dedicated, and hardworking teenage boys I’ve ever seen.  Love this kid.

Addie has made the jump to middle school life.  We were a little nervous about transitioning to middle school, but man, she’s crushing it!  She studies everyday and is making tons of new friends.  She decided to try something new this year and is now in karate!  Anyone who knows our girl knows that this is right up her alley.  She recently tested and is now proudly wearing a yellow belt.  This gal continues to be the crafting queen of the family.  Every week I am gifted with a new creation…I’m loving every one of them.  My sweet girl is one of the most thoughtful, caring, and determined 

12-year-olds ever!

Kaitlyn’s year has been one filled with broken bones.  Mother of the year encouraged her to push through thinking she was just sore from her many hours at gymnastics.  It wasn’t until she came home crying that I decided to get it checked out.  Yep…broken in two places.  Having a cast was initially fun until she realized how inconvenient it was.  Shortly thereafter, my girl slammed her hand in the door leaving her without a fingernail and a broken finger.  Needless to say, we’ve had quite an adventure with that little one.  Kaitlyn is not only killing it at the gym, she’s flying through sixth grade with ease.  The transition was a little more difficult, but she’s great at adapting.  She continues to be one of the sweetest, most tenderhearted, and hardworking kiddos ever!

Mike was promoted from Squadron Commander to Deputy Group Commander of the 116th Operations Group.  This means more meetings, more responsibilities, but no more deployments.  In recent weeks, we have learned that Mike was selected for a broadening opportunity to work at Headquarters Air Force in Washington, DC.  He will be working on the development and acquisition of future programs.  Although we're excited for the opportunity, it will be an adjustment getting used to being geographically separated for a little while.  Thankfully, Mike will still be flying and will still be affiliated with the State of Georgia, so he will be traveling home quite a bit.

As for me, I am still loving my new position as at Caring Solutions.  Prior to becoming a wife and Mother, I had many jobs that I enjoyed, but I never thought it was possible to have a career that my sole responsibility would be to love the people I serve.  I have the opportunity to connect with those who are facing difficult decisions and am able to guide those who are seeking to improve their situations.  Even better than the patients I meet, I serve alongside of some of the most caring and Godly women I have ever known.  Although the days can be long, the benefits of what I do make every day worth it.

We pray that you all had a very Merry Christmas and are blessed beyond measure in 2021!

The Quarantine Conundrum

One day, all the history books will speak about the great pandemic of 2020.  They will tell the story of how terribly it impacted the economy, families, and all the incredible restrictions placed on communities; it will highlight how many people lost their jobs and spent weeks worrying about how they would pay their bills.  Future generations will hear about the vast number of people who contracted the virus and how many people perished.  There will be many who say, "I can't even imagine." 

It's true; what we are experiencing has been traumatic for countless individuals and their families.  In my family alone, my children's lives have been deeply affected.  They have been dealing with their own sense of loss. 

My daughter, a sophomore at William & Mary, had to cut her semester short to come home and complete her courses.  Bless her heart.  Trying to take five classes that were never meant to be taught online, with the never-ending background noise coming from her siblings, has been challenging.  In addition, she had to leave her friends, her routine, and a place she now calls "home" without a proper goodbye.

My oldest son saw his senior year abruptly come to an end.  His varsity soccer season was cut short; they were undefeated and likely moving toward the championship.  My boy missed out on prom, senior skip day, senior field day, and all the senior trips that were being planned.  As if those disappointments weren't enough, he also had to grind out five AP classes online.  At one point, even the dream of a high school graduation ceremony looked bleak.

Christian, my high school freshman, seemed to handle it fairly well.  He was, of course, disappointed to not be able to workout with his buddies or attend football practice.  However, the greatest blow for him came in the form of a driving permit; that great milestone would have to wait.

My not-so-little ones missed out on their fifth-grade graduation ceremony, field day, yearbook signing, and saying goodbye to their closest friends and teachers.  Online learning was a challenge as we all had to learn various platforms and go through the tedious trial and error process.  It was not always pretty in the Roy household, but we managed.  Perhaps the most devastating realization for these girls was...no gymnastics for a while.

Yes, we will read many stories highlighting the personal impact stemming from the overwhelming events of this great pandemic.  While the realities of this situation have, in many cases, been grim, there is a wonderful gift to this story that may be overlooked...the gift of time.  What a precious gift.  Before this, I could not tell you the last time we put a puzzle together, had a 3-hour Monopoly battle or had a Bob Ross painting night.  Workouts became more creative.  Walking the dogs became a daily thing.  We colored with chalk, dyed our hair, played dozens of board games, and had outdoor movie nights.  I was gifted with more lengthy conversations with my big kids than I can count.  These moments have warmed my heart and blessed my spirit on a daily basis.  We have been able to "visit" more churches and hear more sermons than we ever could have under normal circumstances.  Thanks to modern technology, we could worship in the comforts of our home on any day of the week; there was no dress code, eating was encouraged, and snugly blankets were required.  Even in dark days, God is so good.

You see my conundrum.  On one hand I am grieving with those who have been negatively impacted, yet on the other hand, I am thankful for the personal blessings that have come from this pandemic.  Although these have been some very traumatic times for many, I pray that other families have been able to experience the silver lining to this dark cloud in American history.

A New Chapter

Sunday, June 23, 2019

It’s the eve of my first job interview in 18 years.  Let that sink in…18 years.  While some may hear that number and think of wasted years that I could have been pursuing a personal dream, I look at those years as being filled with perhaps my greatest accomplishments.  I’ve been able to spend the last 18 years of my life supporting my husband while watching five incredible babies grow and blossom into amazing people.  I’ve seen all of them take their first steps, been to every school party, and cried with every first day of school.  These not-so-little people have been my whole world.  While that will never change, the time is right for me to begin focusing on personal goals.

Monday, June 24, 2019

What led to this day is profound and simply cannot go unmentioned.  After graduating in June, Mike and I discussed the possibility of me getting a job while I worked toward my Master’s degree.  Weighing the pros and cons, we decided that rather rush into any decisions, we would “hurry up and wait” (thanks for the mantra US Air Force). We began praying for direction…Mike and I prayed, my family prayed, and my friends prayed.  I often spoke about needing God to show me a big neon sign letting me know what direction to take.  At times I felt like I would never get an answer, although in hindsight the wait period was fairly short.  One afternoon, while speaking with a friend about volunteer opportunities in our community that would allow me to work with people in need of emotional support, they mentioned an organization called Caring Solutions.  I began doing research and immediately fell in love.  This was a group that sought to provide women love, medical care, and support during a very vulnerable point in their lives.  While perusing their website, I stumbled upon several job openings.  It was then that I realized THIS was my neon sign.  God had used an innocent conversation with a friend to lead me here.  I swallowed my insecurities and submitted my resume. 

    

I was beyond nervous for my interview today; stepping outside of my comfort zone to apply for a position after all these years had my stomach in knots.  After my initial jitters had subsided and the interview commenced, I became sure that I had come to the right place. 

Friday, June 28, 2019

I am thrilled to say that I am now officially a member of the Caring Solutions family.  As I sit here thinking about reentering the workforce, I am flooded with emotion.  My dream has always been to become a therapist and this position will allow me to dip my toe into those waters.  I can’t hide my excitement of the possibilities to come!  Meeting new people, cultivating new relationships, and working with like-minded individuals is exhilarating!  I’ve prayed so hard for an opportunity like this! 

  

A Full Heart

As always, another year has blown by and I have to admit that I am sad to see 2017 end.  This year was filled with love, memories, and growth.  We have learned to cherish those closest to us and cling to every precious moment we have with those we love.  It wasn't so long ago that I used to balk at the sweet older women who would tell me to "enjoy every minute of motherhood because it goes by so quickly".  Those words would often come at times when my patience was running thin or I was stressed beyond words.  However, as it turns out, those sweet women were the wisest of all.

Our family is now bracing for transition as Victoria is in search of the perfect school.  That girl has done some amazing things this year!  After turning 17, she got her first car, her first job, and began her last year as a high school student.  This summer, while we vacationed in New Hampshire, she spent her time on the lake studying for a Future Business Leaders of America national competition that was to be held in California.  Her time was well spent as she competed and was named National Champion in Business Communication.  Did I mention this was her first year participating in FBLA and that she had never taken a business class?  She has really learned to spread her wings and embrace all that life has to offer.  She is coaching her 3rd year of Upward basketball with Mike, spends hours volunteering around our community, and maintains her 4.1 GPA.  As I have said time and again, this girl is going to do great things, not simply because of her brilliance, but because she has a heart of gold and loves with all her being.  She loves people, loves challenges, and is not afraid to reach for the stars!  I am beyond thankful to call her my girl.

Ethan is enjoying the perks of being 16.  He gets more freedom, later nights, and time in the driver's seat.  This boy stays busy and understands the value of hard work and determination.  He was fortunate enough to go on several church retreats with the youth group this year; these retreats foster friendship, encourage leadership, and dive deep into God's Word.  I am so thankful for these ministries and the passion it evokes in my children.  Ethan had a pretty big year with athletics; he ran varsity track, varsity cross country, and is on the HOCO basketball team.  He has managed to do this all while maintaining A's in all his classes.  I absolutely love his determination!  Even though track and cross country were not his favorite sports, he honored his commitment and improved at every race.  Ethan decided this year that after high school he wants to head north and attend the Naval Academy.  The thought of another child growing up and leaving the proverbial nest makes my stomach tighten, but knowing the amazing things my son is capable of has me beaming!  Wherever he goes, I know that God has big plans for him!

My sweet Christian has now entered his teenage years and is thriving!  This was his first year playing football for his school and he killed it!  On top of keeping straight A's and being an athletic beast, he's started a pet-sitting job on the side.  As it turns out, taking care of pets is quite a lucrative job; he's learning the benefits of hard work, money management, and the sweet rewards of dedication.  For his birthday, he got his first acoustic guitar.  He began teaching himself how to play and is now rocking out on a regular basis.  My boy is strong, smart, devoted, and above all has a pure heart.  He went on several trips with our church this year that have deepened his faith tremendously.  When Christian was 10, he told me he wanted to serve as a missionary one day.  Now, at 13, he is talking to his youth pastor and looking ahead to when he can actually fulfill that dream.  He has a heart for people and love for God that goes beyond what many teenagers have.  He's a keeper for sure!

My not-so-littles celebrated their 9th birthday this year!  I don't think I'll ever be able to look at them and not think of them as my "littles".  This year, they started 3rd grade, which meant transitioning into the big kid school (3rd-5th grades).  They are loving being part of different clubs and participating in school activities.  However, the real fun began when the girls realized a harder grade required more discipline with schoolwork.  That's been great fun...ha!

Addie remains the family's ultimate crafter and lover of any challenge, whether it be a race or an argument, she likes to win.  She is not often satisfied with basic answers; she likes to ask questions and understand every detail of what she is being taught.  I just love that about her!  She loves reading, writing, playing basketball, and gymnastics.  When asked what she wants to do when she grows up, she replies with "everything".  Our sweet girl loves fiercely, hurts deeply, and wants everything in life to make sense.

My little Kaitlyn continues to be my snuggle bug; she considers it a personal challenge to see just how close she can get.  I could NOT love that any more.  She is passionate about all things sporty!  When she was smaller, Mike and I were sure she was going to be our "girly-girl" who loved twirly dresses and big bows...not so much.  This gal likes her comfy clothes, gymnastics, and basketball.  She loves math, science, and is meticulous about everything being in order.  Her toys are all organized, her bed is almost always made, and her book bag is kept neat.  She may be just one of my most responsible children, even if she is my youngest (by a minute).

As for Mike and I, 2017 has been a great year!  With our kiddos being older, we've been able to get away more often.  We've been to see the Avett Brothers in concert, the Impractical Jokers, and had countless date nights.  Keeping a marriage strong is difficult if you allow life to get in the way.  Let's face it, life has a funny way of distracting us from what's most important.  I am so thankful that we have both worked very hard toward being intentional and making each other a priority.  We are thankful for another year without a deployment!  I'm sure there is another on the horizon, but for now we're enjoying being together and living in the present.  On a personal note, I will be finishing my degree this year and preparing to enter the workforce.  I am so, so, so excited!

While this year has been one of the best for our family, 2018 will undoubtedly bring with it new hopes, new opportunities, and even more room for growth.  So I'm ready... bring it on 2018!







 

Finding My Happy

It's a new day...another day wiser, another full to-do list, another load (or 3) of laundry, and I do believe another wrinkle.  It seems that every day I sit to do my hair and makeup I sure enough stumble upon something new that makes me crinkle my nose...silver streaks and wrinkles.  If I think about it long it enough, I can successfully ruin what could be a good day.  That's no exaggeration, I'm good at focusing on the small, seemingly insignificant parts of life that can bring me down.  Some might say it's a talent.  I do believe it's a curse.  I digress.  I am rapidly approaching my 37th birthday (insert cringe) and I in the last several months have really been nostalgic for what used to be; my carefree college days, the early years of marriage, living life without the worry of bills.  Awe, the days of my youth.  It's time and experiences that have brought on these fine lines and crown of splendor (Proverbs 16:31).  Because of my "curse" it is very easy to focus on the blah parts of life that have stressed me to the point of changing my appearance.

Last Tuesday, while I was sitting on the bleachers watching my oldest son run at his track meet a verse that I had read countless times before came to mind.

"...I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do:  

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,

 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me...."

Philippians 3:13-14

It's true that time, experiences, fatigue, and worry bring about the creases around my eyes and lips...but so do smiles, laughter, and genuine happiness.  Right now, I have found myself in unfamiliar territory in life.  I have struggled to see my glass as anything but half empty.  But realizing the now is not going to be the always, is helping me smile once again.  It's a day to day process.  Sometimes even moment to moment, but I am finding my happy once again.

As for my wrinkles?  They are worth every single happy memory I have.

    

 Every. Single. Day.  My girl fills my heart with joy.  She takes me on coffee dates, LIKES taking selfies with me, and shares her heart.  She's responsible, dependable, and goes out of her way to let me know I am loved. She's my girl.

Ethan, Ethan, Ethan.  This boy makes me smile daily.  He's open, honest, determined, and keeps me laughing!  He's a role model to his teammates, his siblings, and even me at times.  What a blessing!

There aren't enough words to describe how much this boy means to me!  I love how he interacts with his friends, how he reads to his little sisters, and how open he is about his relationship with God.  He has a soft heart and more empathy than most.  He has my heart! 

 How could anyone look at this face and not smile.  She's smart, silly, and even a bit sassy.  She likes to run, write poems, and do flips.  Between her theatrical moods and her infectious laugh, Miss Kaitlyn Roy keeps me in stitches!

 

She's bold, adventurous, and never allows for a dull moment.  Miss Addie Pie gives it her all when she's sledding, pulling off April Fool's pranks, finding the pot of gold our leprechaun left us, or reading poetry to her class. She's truly one in a million.

#findingmyhappy

Looking Back....

 

As I sit here trying to write our 2013 “Roy Family Wrap-Up” I am finding it incredibly difficult to sum up our year in one short page.  There have been so many lessons learned; so many adventures had and so many precious moments to add to the mental scrapbook of our lives.  Our children are growing and changing before our very eyes and every day brings some form of newness.  I can only hope that my words can paint a vivid enough picture.

Victoria is in her final year as a middle school student.  She has grown and changed so much in the last year.  She is realizing the power of what it means to form her own opinions and the consequences, both good and bad, of making her own choices.  She continues to maintain a straight A average in all honors program classes, is an Academic team leader and an extremely talented musician!  Most of all, Victoria is one of the most dependable young ladies I know.  Mike and I are so very proud of her and although it’s tough to watch our little girl grow up, we look forward to seeing her blossom into the Godly young woman she is becoming.

Our Ethan has just started a new chapter in his life…the wonderful world as a middle school student.  Oh the changes, adjustments and newfound freedom it has brought.  It was a challenge at first to realize the demands put on a student in the honors program, but he got the hang of it fairly quickly.  He also continues to maintain a straight A average.  He takes pride in his accomplishments and always has.  It is an invaluable quality to always strive to be better despite the situation.  This proved to be invaluable this year as it was the first time he was starting quarterback and team captain on his football team.  He highlighted his season with a last second, 40 yard touchdown pass to win a big playoff game.  He is really learning the true influence being a leader can have on teammates, siblings and friends.  We are very proud of Ethan as he is growing into an honorable young man.

Christian celebrated his 9^th birthday this year.  We knew third grade would bring a lot of challenges with it, being that so many things would be new.  He would be getting actual grades, have more responsibilities and reading would no longer be “just for fun”.  I was actually worried about how my little boy would transition into this year.  However, the joke was on me, because he did great!  He is learning how to study, how to manage his time wisely, how to be a good friend, and what exactly it means to lead by example.  So far, he has also worked very hard to make all A’s.  For sports, he was the starting quarterback for his football team, and he’s the point guard on his basketball team.  He’s a great teammate and always plays hard making it very fun to watch!  He made a huge step this summer that will no doubt set an example to others, when he asked Jesus into his heart…a decision he will never regret.  Christian is always striving to do his best and make as many people smile in the process as possible.

Ready or not, here they come!  That’s what we told their pre-k teacher as this school year began.  Addeline, with her beaming smile and her fiery personality.  Kaitlyn, with her infectious laugh and eyes that could melt the iciest of hearts.  Although they are both precious as punch they are so different.  Addeline loves to read and absolutely anything related to art.  I love planning crafts for the girls, but have found that with Addie Pie, it’s better just to give her the supplies and let her make a creation!  She is rhyming, making letter sounds and even putting some together.  Dick and Jane here we come!  Kaitlyn loves math, being a doctor and a teacher!  It is so much fun to eavesdrop while she is teaching her friends how to check for heart beats.  Listening to Kaitlyn add up different objects or come up with her own math problem just amazes me.  The fact that she is able to invent her own patterns, some of which are quite complex for a 5 year old, just cause me to shake my head.  My little girls are growing up right before my eyes.  What a blessing these two have been to our lives.

Mike and I definitely find ways to keep ourselves busy.  Mike continues to deploy, coach, plans family vacations and is passionate about his running.  In fact, he ran his 2^nd marathon in November.  We were so proud to find him on the course and cheer him on!!  My life is filled with volunteering, trying new recipes, keeping up with our ever-changing schedules and trying to nurture a relationship with running…still working on that one. 

This summer was action-packed for our family, to say the least.  Right before Mike deployed, we spent the weekend in North Georgia hiking and whitewater rafting.  Gracious, it was so much fun!  While the “big kids” played, the little girls spent the weekend at “Camp Gam”.  Although we missed them, it was nice to have some fun with the older kiddos.  About halfway into the deployment, my Grandmother took a turn for the worse.  When school was over, we packed up and headed to Kentucky.  We were so blessed to spend the last couple of weeks with her and our family.  Although it is always hard to say goodbye to someone so loved, God was gracious to give us the time we had.  We shared plenty of smiles, songs, stories and special moments with her before she took her last breath.  A few weeks after Mike returned, we spent about a week in New York for a family reunion.  It was so good to see people we haven’t seen in a very long time…and hug some I had yet to meet!!  Last, but certainly not least, was a big one.  We celebrated my Mom’s one year of being cancer free!

As we embrace the new seasons of life that this year has brought, some more hesitantly than others, we are so very thankful to be together and know that we will never have to face them alone.  

"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them,

for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Deuteronomy 31:6 

I've Got This

...said no Mother ever!

 

 

I was thinking about this the other night as I was dicing avocados, calling out science questions and encouraging the little girls to "jump in" the bathtub.  In between breaths and many attempts not to chop off a finger, I pondered on the fact that this was supposed to be a smooth day.  I had canceled all my morning plans, so I could work on things around the house that desperately needed my attention.  After dropping the kiddos off at school I had a full 6 hours and 15 minutes to get everything done in order to set us up for a successful afternoon and nighttime.  How and when exactly things turned completely crazy is unknown to me.  Here's the breakdown:

 

3:00  Greet Ethan and catch up on his day.  Victoria had a football game she had to play for (band).

 

3:20-3:50  Pick up the little girls from school.

 

4:00  Greet Christian and hear all about his day.  He had a big science test!

 

4:30  Snacks and homework begin...cue western chase music.  *Christian had time to eat and quickly change into his football gear.

 

5:00  Christian left for his football game.  Mike and I kissed hello/goodbye and they were off.  Thank goodness for my husband!  I don't know what I'd do without him!!

 

5:00-7:00 Homework, dinner, and baths.  All were going on roughly at the same time (except dinner).  Addie decided this was a good time to shave the front part of her leg; thankfully not her face, which is what was first reported to me by her sister.  I had stopped calling out test questions to Ethan to assure her that we all make mistakes, but not to do this again.  I must admit, it was slightly funny.  From the age of 18 months Addie Pie has never failed to keep me on my toes.

 

7:30  Ethan took a break from homework to hear about Tori and Christian's game while I took the little ones to upstairs to brush, read, and sing.

 

8:30  Ethan and Tori are at their homework.  Poor Ethan had so much!!  It was painful to watch him work so hard with zero time to just sit back and relax.  I was helping him cover his notebooks while Christian was reading to Daddy.  Victoria was filling me in on her day.

 

9:00  Christian was in bed and ready to be tucked in. (I simply love my nightly tuck ins.  That's when they really reveal what's in their heart.  I pray I never take this time for granted.)  Ethan was wrapping everything up.

 

10:00  I said goodnight to Victoria and stumbled up the stairs.  After my shower, I crawled in bed to a sleeping husband.  Just to wake up at 5 and start all over. 

It's strange.  I thought when this school year started I would have so much time on my hands that I would actually be bored.  I actually believed I would have plenty of time to meet with friends, get very active with church activities and the children's schools.  So far, it has been just the opposite.  I am never bored; I am thankful to participating in A Bible study and am happy to be able to send things in to the children's school. With that being said, I have made it my priority to be done with everything by the time school is out.  Sometimes my to-do list is complete, but most of the time it's not.  However, I make myself available to my kids.  This year has been a big transitional year for every single one of them, myself included.  Although some days feel a little crazy and most days I feel I'm forgetting SOMETHING, I am confident my efforts will pay off in the end.  Dr. James Dobson says it wonderfully:

 

"There is a higher calling...Raising children who have been loaned to us for a brief moment outranks every other responsibility.  Besides, living by that priority when kids are small will produce the greatest rewards at maturity."

 

 

 

 

Ripping the band aid off

It's been a day that I've been preparing myself for months for.  So many things to be thankful for and so many blessings to be praising God for.  Yet still, I found myself mourning the changes that were about to take place.  The imminent changes that were just around the corner.  As August 1st drew near I found myself teetering from one end of the vast spectrum to the next.  On one hand I was so excited for my children, all of them, to be turning this page of their lives and getting to experience the thrill of life...of growing up.  Yet on the other hand, I found myself mourning over time gone by...especially my time with the little girls.  Did I play "pet shop" with them enough?  Did we do enough art projects?  Bake enough cookies?  Paint toe nails often enough?  And my big kids...Have I played enough board games?  Listened well enough to what goes on in their days?  Been as excited about a Minecraft masterpiece as they have?  All these thoughts and worries became daunting.  They would haunt my dreams.  The fact of the matter is, I allowed Satan to be the ruler of my thoughts.

No Mother is perfect.  But I can say with utter confidence, there is no mother out there that could love my children with the depth, determination and utter devotion that I have for them.  Do not get me wrong, my children are not perfect, but I see them through God's eyes and they are perfect in his sight. 

So as I prepared 5 little, and some not-so-little, lunches Thursday night and ironed clothes, I prayed.  I prayed that God would bring Godly friends into their lives and that they would be good influences on one another.  I prayed for guidance and wisdom as the teachers had each been selected for my precious ones.  I wanted teachers that would enrich their lives as well as guide them into making good choices and helping them to become rich in character, knowing there would be so many changes and new responsibilities ahead.  I prayed that all the educators and staff would nurture, encourage, AND challenge them.  I prayed for Mike and me...so many challenges AND opportunities lie ahead of us.  I pray(ed) for guidance that God will give us the words to lead our children toward Him and help us to live a lifestyle that is glorifying. At the end of that lengthy prayer, I was now feeling more confident that I could face tomorrow.

When Thursday morning arrived, the ache was still there as I took our first day of school pictures and set off to drop off my kiddos.  First my middle schoolers...them my big 3rd grader (who is still thrilled to have me walk him to class) and finally my little girls.  The good bye was not as difficult as I had expected it to be as they were so very excited to be there and see one of their most favorite people in the whole world, Mrs. vonOven! 

As the girls skipped inside their classroom I realized, the band aid had been ripped off.

It was done.  The hardest part was over...but I most certainly was not going to hang around to feel any of the lingering sting that was inevitable to follow.  So I blew two last kisses to two unknowing little girls, as they were already immersed in activity, and I left.

There were no tears, but many praises to God for all of his answered prayers. 

My Time of Thanksgiving

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. 

It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. 

It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, 

a stranger into a friend.
  Melody Beattie

Although my blessings are abundant, here are just a few things I am so grateful for.

I am so thankful...

1.  To wake up fresh each morning.   Oftentimes, in my own mind, my day is judged on how successful I was at getting things done.

Did I ever get around to matching those socks?  Was dinner good?  Did I spend enough time with everyone...big and small?  How about reading...did everyone get in their reading time?

Ugh! I forgot to reschedule that dentist appointment!

By the time my head hits the pillow at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how much I accomplished in one day, there are always those moments that I know I could have handled better.  I could have been more patient.  I could have been more loving.  I could have just listened.  So yes, I am thankful for each new morning that I have the opportunity to wake up and start over. 

2.  I am thankful to be loved, cherished and always forgiven by my God.  There are so many times I feel alone, unappreciated and unlovable.  Perhaps it's when Mike is working late for weeks at a time or maybe I'm behind on my list of what "shoulda" gotten done.  Or my personal favorite, when I am juggling too many tasks at once, but am afraid or unwilling to let go of one of them.  In spite of it all...in spite of my piles of unfolded laundry, make-upless (is that even a word) face, and days of pony tails, God completely cherishes me.   


3.  I am thankful for my days of loneliness.  I struggled with exactly how to explain this one, as I didn't want it to sound depressing or as though I was wallowing in self pity.  As my friends have gone back to work and some back to school, I have found myself with more time.  Time to reflect on my life and where I am right now.  I have been able to see in what areas I am lacking and in what areas I may just want to stay true to the course.  Either way, God has used this time to teach me so, so many things.  Above all...to obey everything He has commanded of me... 

"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”  

Matthew 28:20

   
 4.  For my morning cups of coffee and quiet times in the morning.  It is a rare and beautiful thing to be sitting alone surfing the internet, reading a book or perhaps watch a show I had to DVR because there was no time to watch it when it actually aired.  Those moments...are pure bliss. 

5.  For the 5 most beautiful children any woman could be blessed to have.  Victoria with her thoughts that run deeper than most adults; Ethan with his charisma; Christian with his sense of humor; Addeline with her passion and Kaitlyn with her undeniable devotion.  They are all so unique and will one day make their mark on this world in the same way they have made their marks in my heart.

"Children are a heritage from the Lord,
    offspring a reward from him."

Psalm 127:3 

They are truly much greater a reward than I deserve.

6.  I am thankful for date nights with my husband, even if some of them are spent on the couch watching certain sports teams play that I couldn't care less about.


7.  For the freedom to live what I believe.

8.  I am thankful that Mike and I are like-minded on so many things.  So many couples struggle with tough issues; how to raise their children, finances, jobs, separations, religion...just to name a few.  We've faced many difficult things through our marriage, but thankfully we made the decision years ago to stick together and work through the ugly parts of marriage...until death do us part, right?


9.  For family, both near and far.  While it would be nice to live a little farther up north so we could be closer to all our relatives, it makes us appreciate the time we have together all the more.

10.  Our home.  Although I love the house we currently live in, I'm really thankful for what goes on inside these four walls...the good, bad and ugly. 

"In this house...

We do second chances

We do grace

We do I'm sorrys

We do mistakes

We do loud really well

We do hugs

We do family

We do LOVE."

  

 11.  For the number of years I've been able to be a stay at home Mom.  I wasn't sure this job was for me...but I can't imagine spending my time with anyone else.  I am thankful for the moments we have together as a family and am quite sure these times will be treasured in the hearts of my family as well as mine for a lifetime. 

12.  I am thankful for the number of years I have been fortunate to spend with my main squeeze.  Mike loves me.  He inspires me, encourages me, pursues me and makes me want to be a better person.  I don't know that you could ask for much more than that.  

13.  For friendship.  God has been very selective with the number of close friends he has put in my life and for those unbreakable friendships I am so thankful.   

14.  I am thankful for runs...both long and short.  I am so happy when my mind and body are on the same page and can carry me for miles, but I am also grateful for the shorter runs that I am able to squeeze into my sometimes already packed schedule. 

15.  For goals and dreams.  Goodness knows mine have changed through the years.  What I thought I wanted before having a family is most definitely not what I want now.  What's great about this, is the ability to dream and dream BIG!  No one even has to know : )

16.  Vacations...ahh vacations.  It doesn't matter what is going on "in the world" our family always makes time for a vacation.  Don't misunderstand me, I'm not talking Disney World every year vacations or anything crazy expensive.  I'm talking about time away from everyday life vacations.  We usually try and plan them around some other event...most recently Mike's marathon.  It's so easy to get caught up in the have-to's of life that we can forget to look around and see what's most important...family.

17.  Inner Strength.  This is something I've been working on for a long while now...years actually.  It has become my own mental exercise regimen.  Testing it's endurance isn't quite like running a 5K.  I never schedule a time when I'm going to test it's limits; God has a way of timing it juuuuust right.  He waits until I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of insanity and them BAM!  I'm forced to switch into survival mode.  While I hate, hate, hate being in the middle of those tests of life, I'm thankful for the strength He gives me to get through them.

 18. I am so very thankful for the amount of time my parents spent loving me and grooming me into the woman I am today.  I will never proclaim to be perfect, or anywhere near so.  However, I have learned many lesson that will carry on for generations and could not be more thankful for their loving guidance and kind words.

19.  Books!!  There are times I will spend days dreaming about when I'll have a free moment to sit down and get lost in a good novel.  Then my time will come and I will spend days in the same chair, oblivious to the world around me, enjoying every word that book has to offer.  Ahhhh.  There is nothing like a good mental escape.

20.  Motivation.  Some days I have it some days I don't.  Quite simply, I am thankful for the days I have it and don't have to chase it down.

Sweet Surprises

June 21st came and went...not without cake and ice cream, of course, but without friends and games and goody bags.  Christian Joseph, my last little boy, turned 8 this year.  In this family, because of the sheer number of members we have, we take turns on who gets a "big" party.  Mind you, a "big" party is not necessarily big, rather, it consists of the extra special things.  We have a group of our favorite friends over, cute (but cool) games planned, fun foods and good times.  For some reason, although the date never changes, every year Christian's birthday seems to sneak up on us.  That's right, there's always a million other chaotic life events going on where we/I feel that he somehow manages to more often than not miss out on having his turn at the "big" events.  This year...it happened again.  We had a Royfam7 birthday.  He was so sweet and never once complained, but did ask if his friends were going to be able to come over.  Sniff.  We told him to be patient.  Be patient?!  For what exactly, I wasn't sure.  The only thing I did know is that Mike and I were in agreement we were not going to allow this birthday to pass us by without a good celebration...even if it was late.  After weeks of deliberation, scheduling conflicts, more family stuff we picked a weekend and decided the entire thing would be a surprise!  I'm a sucker for surprises, especially when it comes to my kiddos.  As the preparations began to come together, I was more than shocked at how every little detail seemed to fall into place.  It was as if this was somehow the way it was meant to be.  Huh...maybe there is something to being late.  If that's the case then things will definitely be looking up for me, as punctuality is not a strong point for me.  Anyhow, I digress.  The big kids were such dolls to help me plan and keep everything a secret.  Even they were excited for their little brother.  As for all the friends, well I made sure I only spoke to their parents.  I know kids can't keep secrets...not. my. first. rodeo.  The big day was finally upon us and 3 things happened.

(1) I got sick.
(2) My parents had to cancel their trip to visit because I was sick.
(3) I realized Mike had to work most of the day.

Now I knew why God had allowed everything to fall into place so perfectly.  Only He could have seen the curve balls ahead.  Aside from a little added stress, the show went on.  My antibiotics had kicked in, Mike made it home in time to help and Christian was able to go play with a buddy while we got everything set up.  When he walked into the house he was immediately surrounded by friends all shouting "SURPRISE!  Happy Birthday!"  The look on his face...pure joy!  It took everything in me to keep myself together.  I was just so happy for him.

 

Although Mr. Weatherman called for thunderstorms all day, God blessed us with a beautifully clear 3 hours for the kids to play, play, play!  God's grace never ceases to amaze me!

Unwrapping Christmas

Christmas is only days away and my children are waiting ever so patiently to find out just what exactly is underneath our Christmas tree.  They've written their letters to Santa all pleading their case as to how good they've been and all asking so very politely for a few new things.  Our home is all lit up with Christmas lights and adorned with homemade ornaments and decorations.  In fact, if you didn't know better, you would think Santa himself had crafted some of these handmade items around our house.  My children take such pride in the things they bring home from school to surprise us with on Christmas morning.  They spend so much time wrapping their gifts just to see the light in our eyes as we eagerly unwrap them to see what precious present is tucked away.  The anticipation.  The wonder.  The excitement.


Christmas is a wonderful time of year; the lights, the music, the smiles, the baking, the crafts!  It's so easy to become consumed with it all, that the real message is forgotten.  Sure, most of us know that this is the time we celebrate the birth of our King, but do we really grasp what that meant for us all those years ago?  Just as impatiently as our children wait for their presents, a world waited for theirs.  Finally, when our gift was born He was tucked away in a manger.  When the wise men came, just imagine the wonder and excitement in their eyes as Mary eagerly unwrapped her precious baby, that she had no doubt meticulously bundled, to show the most priceless gift this world would ever know. 


Is it wrong to enjoy all the presents we're given from those we love?  No, it's not.  However, we can't forget the presence of the One who was born to give his all for us.  We simply can't forget the very first gift of Christmas that was unwrapped all those years ago.