A Year To Remember

It probably comes as no surprise to anyone, but 2020 will undoubtedly go down in history as the strangest year of our lives.  Everything from the toilet paper shortage to the 24-hour quarantine, things have just been different.  I must confess though; it has been a blessing.  From the insane scheduling of gymnastics, karate, football, mine and Mike’s work schedule, and school in general, things had steadily become out of control.  However, after everything shut down, we were forced to slow down and take a breath.  Before this, I could not tell you the last time we put a puzzle together, had a 3-hour Monopoly battle or had a Bob Ross painting night.  Workouts became more creative.  Walking the dogs became a daily thing.  We colored with chalk, dyed our hair, played dozens of board games, and had outdoor movie nights.  I was gifted with more lengthy conversations with my big kids than I can count.  For that, I am thankful.

Victoria is flying through her junior year at William and Mary.  She is currently virtual learning from the comforts of home.  Although that was a difficult decision for her, saving money on dorm costs was a no-brainer.  Victoria has chosen not to work while she’s in school as she is fully dedicated to her academics and us!  Our girl is one of the most thoughtful and determined young women that I know.  When she puts her mind to something, she is sure to achieve it!   

Ethan is currently in his freshman year at the Naval Academy in Maryland; he has become quite the expert in push-ups, late night study sessions, and grinding through the sometimes-never-ending days of plebe life.  Just like the rest of the world, things are looking different for him.  All academics are taken online which makes things more challenging as these classes were never intended to be taken virtually.  However, even with the all the demands, he still manages to check in often.  We’re so thankful to have him home for the holidays!

Christian is in his sophomore year in high school and has become quite the beast in the gym, at school, and on the football field.  He was the starting defensive tackle on the JV team, which came with a lot of grind on and off the field.  One of the most exciting parts of his year happened when the DMV opened back up and he was able to get his permit.  Watch out everyone!!!  This guy’s managed to keep an A average all while balancing his many roles within the family.  He is one of the funniest, most dedicated, and hardworking teenage boys I’ve ever seen.  Love this kid.

Addie has made the jump to middle school life.  We were a little nervous about transitioning to middle school, but man, she’s crushing it!  She studies everyday and is making tons of new friends.  She decided to try something new this year and is now in karate!  Anyone who knows our girl knows that this is right up her alley.  She recently tested and is now proudly wearing a yellow belt.  This gal continues to be the crafting queen of the family.  Every week I am gifted with a new creation…I’m loving every one of them.  My sweet girl is one of the most thoughtful, caring, and determined 

12-year-olds ever!

Kaitlyn’s year has been one filled with broken bones.  Mother of the year encouraged her to push through thinking she was just sore from her many hours at gymnastics.  It wasn’t until she came home crying that I decided to get it checked out.  Yep…broken in two places.  Having a cast was initially fun until she realized how inconvenient it was.  Shortly thereafter, my girl slammed her hand in the door leaving her without a fingernail and a broken finger.  Needless to say, we’ve had quite an adventure with that little one.  Kaitlyn is not only killing it at the gym, she’s flying through sixth grade with ease.  The transition was a little more difficult, but she’s great at adapting.  She continues to be one of the sweetest, most tenderhearted, and hardworking kiddos ever!

Mike was promoted from Squadron Commander to Deputy Group Commander of the 116th Operations Group.  This means more meetings, more responsibilities, but no more deployments.  In recent weeks, we have learned that Mike was selected for a broadening opportunity to work at Headquarters Air Force in Washington, DC.  He will be working on the development and acquisition of future programs.  Although we're excited for the opportunity, it will be an adjustment getting used to being geographically separated for a little while.  Thankfully, Mike will still be flying and will still be affiliated with the State of Georgia, so he will be traveling home quite a bit.

As for me, I am still loving my new position as at Caring Solutions.  Prior to becoming a wife and Mother, I had many jobs that I enjoyed, but I never thought it was possible to have a career that my sole responsibility would be to love the people I serve.  I have the opportunity to connect with those who are facing difficult decisions and am able to guide those who are seeking to improve their situations.  Even better than the patients I meet, I serve alongside of some of the most caring and Godly women I have ever known.  Although the days can be long, the benefits of what I do make every day worth it.

We pray that you all had a very Merry Christmas and are blessed beyond measure in 2021!

19 Years and Counting

"How long have you guys been married?"  That's a question I get asked often; when I respond with "19 years" I often get a wide-eyed reaction filled with disbelief.  My parents have been married for 45 years and I know that every time I hear that number, I react with the same look.  It has nothing to do with the couple, rather, the idea of how long that actually is! 

We have had 19 years of deployments, TDY's, children, moves, military demands, loss, lessons, and did I mention, children!  There have been many ups and downs.  Thankfully, the good times have outweighed the bad times; however, by no means has it been easy.  In fact, there have been times we have both asked the question, "is this worth it?"  My belief is that every couple has, at times, asked themselves that same question.  If they say they haven't, either they haven't been married that long or they're not necessarily being honest with themselves. I don't say that to be contentious, but rather to draw attention to the fact while marriage begins with two people deeply in love, it eventually becomes a choice...will you choose to stay in love?

The first time I saw Mike, he was on the basketball court at McAlister Field House at the Citadel; he was all alone in the gym working on his game.  I was immediately hooked on that handsome guy!  I loved his work ethic, determination, and dedication to the things he found most important.  I loved the way he looked at me, the way he built me up, and constantly encouraged me.  In the words of of  Ren'ee Zellwegar, in Jerry McGuire, he had me at hello. That was the honeymoon phase of our marriage.  Although it was beyond wonder, that phase never lasts.

Eventually, the struggles of life with a job, a family, and being away from the place you call home take root.  Marriage tests our patience, our capability of understanding, our empathy, and our determination.  Will you run every time the thought crosses your mind?  Will you bolt every time your feelings get hurt or there's a disagreement?  Those become questions you will be forced to consider throughout your marriage.  It's hard, because we're human and self preservation is a very real thing. 

Marriage stretches every human boundary we thought we had.  It forces us to face the ugliness inside ourselves and embrace the joy we never thought was possible.  It is also true that marriage, as with any true commitment, takes work....but is it worth it?  Yes, it absolutely is.

Here's to 19 years and counting...

Numbers, Naps, and Comfy Socks

There was a point in time, not so very long ago, when my focus was learning the lyrics to new songs, cheerleading, and boys.  Now-a-days I'm more concerned with cutting coupons, making lists, and watching my kiddos grow up.   What was once deciding on what to wear for my first day of school w has morphed into which pair of comfy socks would be the warmest.  Those are just a few noteworthy differences in being a teen and being an adult...in my 30's.

That's right, I'm officially in my mid-thirties.  According to one study, many people believe that youth ends at 35!  So now that I've turned 36 I'm old??  Good grief...that is 100% depressing.  I don't always feel young, but I definitely don't want a survey telling me how I should be feeling.  Regardless, 35 has revealed more about the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of life.

1.  Gone are the days I stay up late and just hang out.  These days I punch my time card at 9:00 and am usually asleep by 10:00.  More times than not I am indeed a party pooper.

2.  The mirror has now become my enemy.  Every. Single. Time I take a peek at myself another gray hair appears.  To make it worse...those said hairs seem to multiply throughout the day!

3.  Naps have now become a part of my life.  It's true.  Not very long ago I was a firm believer that by taking naps I was actually sleeping my life away.  It was the number one indicator that my age was creeping up and I was indeed slowing down.  The truth hurts.

4.  Now for the cruelest part of being in my 30's...the difficulty of losing weight and the unfortunate pull of gravity!!  Why did I think I would be exempt from these vicious changes?  I have absolutely no idea.  But as my daughter would say, the struggle is real.

5.  Turns out I'm really not going to live forever.  I don't think I ever actually believed I was never going to die, but I definitely remember feeling invincible to anything bad.  I was always going to be healthy...I could eat what I want...pass me another soda please.  Was I ever wrong.

However, there is some beauty to becoming older and wiser.

1.  Yes, I do go to bed much earlier, but I sure feel rested and happy to see my kiddos in the morning!  (coffee first, smiles second)  If I was constantly running on fumes, I would never appreciate all the cuddles, the hugs, and the love around me!  My heart is so full and I am confident it's because I am listening to my body now.

2.  Hmmm, as for the ever-changing reflection in the mirror.  I'm all for being natural, but there's something extra special and crazy exciting to be able to pamper myself at the hair salon routinely!  *Poof!  Gray's be gone*  Paying for it makes me cringe just a little, but being able to switch things up is pretty fun!

3.  Naps.  I was pleasantly surprised to read that a short, 20 minute nap would enhance alertness, concentration, and elevate your mood!  Boom!  What once felt like a complete waste of time have become my very best friend.  The very best times to rest are Sunday afternoons.  I do believe God makes those extra special since we are honoring his day of rest.


4.  The changes in my body are tough to swallow.  Which is originally why running was thrown into my mix..  It originated with wanting to burn calories, but has now taken on a life of its own.  I LOVE TO RUN!!!  Talk about a mid-life awakening!  The challenges, the discomfort, the sweat have all become things I love about it!  In fact, I'm running my first half in January and I am so stoked!!  Although it does not completely stop the gravitational pull, building muscle sure makes a difference.

5.  Statistics say that 1:1 person dies.  Depressing?  Possibly.  But knowing that, is what makes me run toward the healthy stuff.  I want to take care of myself so I can be here to watch everything that my children are going to accomplish.  I want to spend every day that I possibly can with my Mike.  I want to be physically ready for anything!  Of course I have a way to go, but I'm feeling pretty good about the journey!    So, gone are the days of ordering greasy, fried  mystery meat on a bun and hello to grilled chicken salads with the dressing on the side.  

My darling husband took me out to eat, just the two of us.

When we got home from out delicious dinner, I walked inside to be 

greeted/surprised/scared to death by some of my 

most favorite people for a surprise celebration!  

Apparently, while we were out eating dinner, my kiddos were at home 

putting up decorations, food on the table, and making everything look amazing!

I could. not. believe they were all able to pull this off without me having any idea.

After dabbling into the sport of running, I have now fallen in love.

When my husband brought out my cake he told me I was definitely now a "runner."

He will probably never know how much those words meant to me.

Nor will he ever really know how touched I was by his efforts to make this one of the 

most perfect birthdays I've ever had.

I am so happy to be 36 and I simply cannot wait to see what this new year holds!

Sometimes you just need a hero.

It's easy to fall into a comfortable routine; especially if things have been going rather smoothly.  However, I have given up on the naivety that life will stay that way...smooth.  It is almost always a guarantee that something is on the horizon.  Whether it's a relationship that falls apart and the pieces need to be mended; a deployment is in full swing; there's deadline that unexpectedly shows up, or in my case, my daughter's ceiling came down.  Let me just say that again...parts of my daughter's ceiling came down.

What had started as the perfect Sunday that included: worship, skating, and friends ended in disaster. My upstairs bathroom (directly over my daughters bedroom) was leaking.

This was one of those times where it was 100% necessary for the children and myself to pull ourselves together and work as a team.

-Victoria called Poppy and explained the situation.
-Ethan began moving things out of the way as quickly as possible.
-Christian made some dinner for the girls before taking them upstairs and getting them all tucked in.
-As for me, well I ran next door to grab my neighbor.  Poor guy had just gotten home from a date      with his wife...still dressed up and everything.

Only after my friend had climbed over toys, nearly tripped on shoes, and removed all obstacles from a well lived-in house, we unanimously agreed that this was indeed a disaster.  The house...the leak...my daughter's room...my life!  A bit dramatic, perhaps, but there is no drama in the fact that I am currently without my husband.  That in and of itself makes every bad situation seem worse.

It's true that some things simply can't be avoided...the call to our insurance company falls into that category.  Finding a quiet opportunity to make an important call these days is nearly impossible.  To find that moment and make it through the call without sounding completely frazzled IS impossible.  The next day I was able to talk to Mike about everything going on.  His response was worded in the most romantic, the most thoughtful, and the most heroic way possible...

"Let me call them honey."

Sweeter words have never been spoken.  After the initial call was made the process went quickly.  The contractor came followed by a gentleman to get the mitigation process started.  Now for the plumbing...yea the plumbing.  Since the wet ceiling had now been removed it was easy to see all work that needed to be done.  I had no idea where to begin finding someone reputable that wouldn't cost one million dollars.  When suddenly...

My Daddy walked in.

I breathed such a sigh of relief when I saw his face.  Not only can he do anything, but his hugs just make you feel like everything is going to be all right.  It didn't take him long to spot the problem(s) and hop into action.  He had even brought all his tools with him!!!  After a full days work and a few hiccups along the way, we were leak free.  Total cost of the repair...$53!!

After the removal of part of the ceiling.

Let the mitigation begin.

...and this is where it all began, with a poorly installed shower drain.

Now, we wait for the reconstruction to begin.  

What have I learned from this?  I am stronger than I give myself credit for,

but sometimes you just need a hero...or two.

Matters of the Heart

Our garage had been cleaned out like never before.  Our front yard was manicured and all the springtime tune-ups around the house had been completed.  I mean all projects big and small were checked off our list.  Mike had even spent time alone with each one of the children in preparation.  I suppose you could say we were ready for this deployment.

It's been 4 weeks and 4 days since he's been gone.  When I think back to the time before he left, I am truly happy about the "things" that got completed.  But what about the simple, or not so simple, matters of the heart?  Sure, we talked about how we were going to miss each other and we smiled about how well things had been going in our home and between us.  I reassured him that we would be fine while he was gone, that I could handle things.  He reassured me of his love and that he would work hard for us.

It's true, military separations are nothing new to us after 14 years of being in the service, but goodbyes are still goodbyes no matter how you look at them.  I took my experiences from prior deployments and felt too comfortable repeatedly telling myself:

 

-It's only for X long.

- It could always be worse.

- I know what needs to be done.

My personal favorite:

*It's no big deal, I've done this before.*

 

 

As I sit here writing this thinking over the last 32 days Michael has been gone, I so wish I had not been so flippant about it all.  It's true we had a checklist of things to do and we went through it and got everything done that needed to be done...except one.  We never embraced the feelings that were stirring on the inside;  the sadness, the dread, the fear, or the unavoidable loneliness that we both knew would soon come.  We never dealt with the matters of our hearts.  Now looking back, here a just a few things I wish we had done differently/more of. 

 

      1.  Be in the moment.  It's easy to get lost in our thoughts trying to think ahead to the "what if's" and the "then what".  Make the time together just about you two.  If you are feeling overwhelmed with sadness at the thought of him leaving, just talk to him about it.  There's a good chance that he is too.  By just putting it all out on the table, nobody has to feel that they're holding anything in and forcing a fake smile.  The best part is that the two of you can then share a sweet moment together.

    2.  Appreciate those little things.  Do as many things as you can together.  I must say, we were fortunate as a couple, that our children were at school during the day, so he and I could do things together.  Some were on the to-do list, but others were just simple things like.  We would take the children to school and then grab some coffee.  If I needed to get some groceries, he'd tag along with me.  Once he even made a surprise trip to Lowe's and bought me 2 new knock-out rose bushes to plant in the front yard - just because he knows I love them.  I wish I could say we planted them together, but we didn't.  I just admired him work ;)

   3.  Pray and pray together.  In the beginning praying together was a bit intimidating for us.  I was always nervous about how I would sound; would the words come out right?  Would I flat out sound silly?  I heard from one of the pastors in our church, that no matter how uncomfortable it may feel, because it is going to feel that way in the beginning, you just have to start.  So we did.  I fumbled over my words quite a bit in the beginning.  Even now I don't sound a thing like Billy Graham or Joyce Mayer, but the words that I speak are from my heart.  There's something very intimate about Mike knowing firsthand what is coming from my heart to God's ears.


As I'm writing this, I realize we did do a lot together before he left (not just our "lists")  I'm thankful for that.  Perhaps our heart cannot ever truly be prepared for the absence of the one you love.  Thank you God for giving me a husband whom I love so deeply.

 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock

It was just a matter of hours before my husband stepped off of the jet, and we would have yet another notch on our "deployment belt."  The house was spotless, the kids are scrubbed and even the dogs have been washed.  To say we were excited would be an understatement.  No matter how many/or few deployments you do they all contain the same state of emotions:  mourning of the loss of your loved one in the beginning; the feeling of newfound independence; pure exhaustion followed by elation at their homecoming.  However there is one part of the deployment that is understated, in my humble opinion, and that is the readjustment period.  Yes, yes, yes.  That can be a very tricky time for both of you.  That is the time when we are reintroducing ourselves to one another and trying to back into the groove, if you will.  Truth is, sometimes,  that groove changes.  A new schedule might have been implemented; a new list of chores might have been doled out, etc.  That can be frustrating for the returning spouse and possibly lead to some disagreements.  I say all this, not because I have some great words of wisdom on how to avoid these issues.  In fact, I think they're inevitable, even for the most prepared couple.  I say this, because this can be a real test on your marriage.  In fact, it can become such a trying time on a marriage that couples have indeed decided it  best to go their separate ways.  After being a part for so long, they've already learned to live separate lives, right?  Wrong.  Not only is that a ruse, but it would break every commitment ever made to one another.  When couples get married they recite vows: 

I, ----, take you, ----, to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

I must confess; marriage is the hardest commitment I have ever entered into.  Dare I say, it is harder than raising children (although that is a very close second), buying a house, moving away from family, or even becoming a military spouse.  It demands my attention at all times and at all costs.  When I said "I do" to Mike 12 years ago, I pledged myself to him.  I promised to be his partner in sickness and health, in good times and bad, and in joy as well as sorrow.  I promised to...work on us.  I decided on that day that I would choose to love this man no matter what the world may throw at us or what we may bring upon ourselves.  It's not easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is.  There are a few pointers that may help us all along the road of building/rebuilding a strong marriage. 

1.  You can choose to be kind.
In the midst of an argument, the very last thing on your mind is to be kind.  However, do you realize that being kind actually creates a blessing?  It take practice, but taking a deep breath and restraining yourself from saying the ugly words on your mind may be the best move you can make.  Not only will it help defuse your spouse's temper, you will also be honoring God.

"Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,

just as God through Christ has forgiven you."

Ephesians 4:32

2.  You can choose to be patient.
Wow.  Now I'm asking you to be patient with the person who quite possibly just lit your fuse on purpose?  Or be patient with the person who is angry at the fact there are no groceries in the house?  Yes, I am.  Although I am by no means an expert, from my marriage, I have learned that more often than not a lot of anger comes from issues that have nothing to do with me at all.  If your spouse is stressed out at work, feeling unappreciated or even unloved, rather than "talk" to you, they may just lash out.  However, retaliation never defuses a situation, it just intensifies it.

^"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."    

Ephesians 4:2

3.  You can choose to fight fair.
Oooooh, there are sometimes I get so angry I just want to sling mud.  I just want to make Mike as angry as he's made me...and yes, I've done just that.  Did I get anywhere?  No.  In fact, the only thing I succeeded in was fueling the fire and bringing up past hurts that had already been forgiven.  Believe it or not, there is a way to disagree with dignity.  That's not to say the fires of wrath will not be churning inside, but the way you respond to those unwanted feelings is up to you.  Our goal as wives, should be to make our marital bridge stronger, not tear it down.

A gentle answer turns away wrath,
    but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1

Stephen and Alex Kendrick say it best in The Love Dare,

"The love that's demanded from you in marriage is not dependent on your mate's sweetness or suitability.  the love between a husband and wife should have one chief objective:  honoring the Lord with devotion and sincerity.  the fact that it blesses our beloved in the process is simply a wonderful, additional benefit.
                                            .  .  .  .

"Love motivated by mere duty cannot hold out for love.  And love that is only motivated by favorable conditions can never be assured of sufficient oxygen to keep it breathing.  Only love that is lifted up as an offering to God - returned to Him in gratitude for all He's done - is able to sustain itself when all other reasons have lost their ability to energize us."

The next time a transitional period comes along; perhaps a new baby, a loss of a loved one, an illness, a deployment, loss of a job or a big relocation, let's in essence, renew our vows to one another.  We meant them when we said them.  By honoring the Lord and sticking it out, you will be blessed.

 Although we are still works in progress, we strive to honor God, love each other and emulate what real love looks like to our children.

Daddy's Birthday Party

 

With an impending deployment day quickly approaching, the children and I decided to make this birthday especially exciting for Daddy!  Every year he puts in so many hours to make sure "my" days are extra special.  "My" days being Mother's Day, our anniversary, and my birthday...and that's not even taking into account his "just because" days.  Yes, I married a pretty remarkable man.  I digress.

I decided that I wanted this birthday celebration to be more special and pack more of a punch, so to speak, than any of the others.  You see, we won't be able to take a family vacation this year due to circumstances beyond our control, so I really wanted to make it special.

It all started with our patriotic theme and the decorations.  A big thank you goes to Victoria for putting it all together as I was running around trying to get things ready for dinner.  She did a beautiful job, with the help of the little girls...as always : )

 

 

Daddy walked in to a newly decorated kitchen that was running over with love from his 5 beautiful children who had been not-so-patiently awaiting his arrival home from work.

We decided it would be best to reveal our big plan in pieces.  You know, give him the opportunity to put things together, if you will.  But first, the kids gifts that they had so patiently and thoughtfully put together.

Victoria picked out a "singing mustache" card, of course, and a white board for his brand new office.  This way it will help him remember important things ; )

Ethan picked him out a basket full of hard candies to take on his long flights during his deployments.  It is our understanding that not only are they long, but at times they can be quite dull. 

Christian, knowing his Dad so well, picked out the hottest candy ever and even got him a water bottle to cool his scorching tongue when he was finished.  See what I mean?  Simply thoughtful.

Next, we decided to put our plan into action, by wrapping up little hints about our trip.  Thus, giving him the opportunity to put the pieces together for himself.  Secretly, I knew he never would!  hehehe!

Sunscreen was his first clue.

"Band Aides and Neosporin?"

"Baby Wipes...gee thanks Ash."

"Traveling kit with Gold Bond.  Awesome.  We must be going camping."

"Look.  I don't wear water shoes.  I will wear flops, but no water shoes."

His final gift was a folder containing all the information about the rustic place we were staying and the crazy Chattooga River we would be rafting down!  My husband likes adventure, so that's what he was going to get! 

The infamous banana cake which was decorated by Victoria. 

Happy Birthday Mike! I hope this was a memorable one!

xoxx

Back In The Saddle!

So many things have happened in recent months!  Where have I been?  What in the world have I been doing other than not documenting these most precious moments in our lives?!  That is a very good question...one that I wish so very desperately that I had an appropriate answer for.  I am hoping that as this school year winds down (only one week left), I will indeed have more time to devote to my journaling.  Scratch that.  I will devote more time to my journaling.

Because I've made no mistake letting it be known that there is never a dull moment in our home, I am just going to start filling in some of the blanks since my last post in February. (!!!!) 

Being that Victoria is now a 7th grader, they are required to participate in the science fair after coming up with an idea and constructing their own project.  Rather than proposing a question, conducting an experiment to try and prove/disprove a theory, Victoria decided she wanted to create her very own working waterwheel.  Whew.  Thankfully, Daddy loves these types of challenges and the two set to work.

 There was lots of sanding,

 and posing for a quick picture.

 Here is the final construction.  Now, to make sure it spins smoothly and on its own.

 It did spin, but very slowly at first.

 The two decided it needed more "buckets".

 After the buckets were added, final nails were in place and the paint was dry, we were ready.

Let the competition begin!

Um, I did mention that she was competing against 750 other students in our region?

After many hours of work and lots of trial and error the two reached their goal of successfully creating a working waterwheel!!  I must say it was pretty amazing.  Victoria brought home the first place ribbon in her category of Electrical and Mechanical Engineering.  We are very hopeful to next year be able to build on this project and perhaps produce electricity???  Hey...determination is the key to all things!

Commitment

After 3 months of marriage

 

I, Ashley, take you Mike, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day 

forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to 

cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

When I first looked into Mike's eyes and said my vows I just knew...as long as we had love we could get through anything!  I knew that our lives would always be as full of romance as they were right then and that no matter what, we would always be able to make one another happy.

Marriage.

We, like so many before us, fell into the trap of believing those common misconceptions that couples have when they say their "I do's".  We all think we are going to ride off into the sunset and our lives are going to be nothing but sunshine and butterflies.  Never do we dream of all the challenges we will inevitably have in store for us. 

Children...housework...deployments...arguments...work...family...loss...
sickness...debt...decisions...relocations

The one common denominator all these things hopefully have is commitment.  There are times in marriage
when you will be stretched and tested beyond your limits, or what you once thought were your limits.  There will be some times in your marriage when you will look at your spouse and not even like who you're looking at it.  Then there will be those pivotal moments when you realize there is no one else in this world you would rather walk through the pits of hell with than the man/woman you are married to.


Marriage is not always about the feeling of love.  At some point it becomes a decision to love.  A husband and wife have to decide over and over again to put forth the effort into the relationship, even when they don't feel like it and especially when those trials inevitably come along.  You have to decide to encourage one another; to respect one another and to put in the effort it takes to keep a marriage alive.

By no means do I have all the answers, nor will I EVER pretend to.  In fact, the ONLY thing I know for sure is that no relationship comes with a lifetime guarantee.  Author, Gary Thomas talks about marriage and says,

"If happiness is our primary goal, we'll get a divorce as soon as happiness seems to wane.  If receiving love is our primary goal, we'll dump our spouse as soon as they seem to be less attentive. But if we marry for the glory of God, to model His love and commitment to our children, and to reveal His witness to the world, divorce makes no sense." 

  

Remember...for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health...

until death do us part.

After 10 years of marriage.

Citadel Basketball Camp

This past week we were fortunate enough to go to Charleston where our children once again attended basketball camp at the Citadel.  This camp is no joke...they play from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday.  They work on ball handling drills, shooting techniques, passing the ball and all kinds of other things.  The kids always have a blast and Mike loves coaching them.  Here are just a few highlights from their time at camp.

 

We love our Citadel Bulldogs!

Victoria's taking it to the hoop!

Ethan's working on his ball handling skills.

He shoots...HE SCORES!!

While the big kids are away...the babies will play!

We finished off our day singing in the rain.